Our writer has experienced some very strange things in the land of nod, so we sent her to a dream analyst to try and make some sense of it all.

I’ve always wanted to know what the dream where I gave birth to a ham sandwich actually meant. Analyse that one, Freud. You see, in spite of claims from some people that they don’t dream, we’re all at it, as if we each have some great big Sky+ box in our brains churning out surreal soap operas every night. Lots of people just don’t remember them.

Your dreams are, in fact, an A-Z map of your inner psyche and having them analysed can show up areas in your life that might need a bit of help. It’s a real journey of self-discovery.

Remembering
First things first, though, you can’t have your dreams analysed if you can’t remember them. Having memory problems? As you go to sleep you must give yourself the suggestion that you will remember your dreams when you wake up (this will help you dream, too). Quick tip: if you want to dream of Brad Pitt, try thinking about him when you turn the lights out. Here’s hoping!

So, let’s say the dreams are flowing. Don’t bother writing them down the second your eyes are open, just keep a Dictaphone by the bed. Who wants to try and decipher half-asleep scribble when instead of a pen, you picked up a stray eyeliner?

Dr Sarah Dening is a dream analyst. She says the recurring dreams I have of my social circle as adults, but in children’s bodies at school, suggests I have some unresolved issues about my schooldays. I told her about the dream I had last week, which involved my friend Stuart from school receiving a present from a woman who wasn’t his current girlfriend. This made me angry, but Stuart wasn’t reacting. Oddly, the present was in fact a coffin-shaped hole, with worms poking out of the mud. While it was Stuart falling in, it was me having the falling sensation. Loving those crazy dreams!

Luckily, this doesn’t mean I’m barking. In fact, Sarah suggests that the people in my dreams are just different aspects of myself. Stuart is the masculine side of my personality, which represents assertiveness (or lack of, in my case) and the pushy non-girlfriend figure is also me – the side of me I don’t like and have pushed aside.

Flashbacks
All of this together, Sarah says, suggests I’ve had a fear of expressing my assertiveness since my schooldays. The doctor is spot on! I’m a devil for being forceful in my head, but when it comes to actually dealing with difficulties with old friends, I’m a right wimp.

Ooh, I wanted to hug Sarah and her accuracy! Getting your dreams analysed is a way of bringing to the forefront of your mind something your subconscious is nagging at you to deal with. Best I start standing up to my homies!

If only all life issues were as easy as getting out a dream dictionary and looking up ‘worms’. Unfortunately, generic symbols rarely get to the bottom of your subconscious, and although there are at least a hundred common dream themes (such as dreaming all your teeth have fallen out), you have to adapt these symbols to fit your own life.

Lastly, the number-one reason for not remembering your dreams is not getting enough sleep! Turn off that repeat of Desperate Housewives and get to bed!

http://www.handbag.com/health/stay-healthy/understanding-your-dreams-49814

More and more people are now opting for cosmetic surgery and even the government has launched a new website to give advice on proceedures, but what do you think?

Cosmetic surgery is now so wide spread it’s getting to the stage when we all know of someone who’s had a treatment or two. Unfortunately this increase in demand has also led to claims of some clinics giving the hard-sell to vulnerable patients. The government has caught on to this and responded with a new website www.dh.gov.uk to give those considering surgery access to balanced information. However we want to know what you think about the proliferation of surgery.

The anti-cosmetic surgery view – written by Sally Winthorp
We’re constantly bombarded by the cosmetic surgery mantra. Newspaper and magazine pages are filled with advertisements for ‘a newer, better you in your lunch hour’, emphasising the quick-fix nature of cosmetic surgery.

At its essence, cosmetic surgery is a symptom of the ‘easy come, easy go’ society that we live in. Everything can be bought – from the ideal home to the perfect body – image is everything. There are apparently no boundaries and no limits. While some may say these are the benefits of a free society, the cost of this pursuit of ‘perfection’ is that the notion of values and development of the inner self are lost, buried in a mire of pert bums, large breasts and button noses.

We are instilling these values of surface beauty over inner well-being into the next generation and they are buying into it; a survey published by a teen magazine (Bliss – source BBC News), states that one third of its readers want cosmetic surgery. Idealism like this can only translate into a more hollow, materialistic and shallow society than the shell we already inhabit and that is not good news for anyone.

Unfortunately, many of the people who opt for cosmetic surgery are actually trying to heal a deeper hurt than any surgeon’s knife will ever reach. In the aforementioned survey, 85% of respondents stated that appearance affected self-esteem, but what these adolescents don’t seem to realise is that a smaller waist or a wrinkle-free brow will not make a person value themselves. Confidence and self-esteem can only be built on a strong foundation of self-value and belief in your own abilities, not on the shaky, and inevitably fleeting, platform of beauty.

Having said all this, I do believe that it is important to enhance the traits you’ve been given; I wear make-up, I dye my hair, I think that it’s important to be active and keep your body fit and healthy, but I don’t believe cosmetic surgery is the answer. There are inherent risks involved with any surgery, and in most cases surgery is kept as the last option. It therefore defies logic that people will welcome the knife so readily in order to improve their appearance. How do we justify this flippant view of cosmetic surgery? My breasts might explode, but they look great? I may never wake up but at least I’ll have a smaller nose?

The proliferation of TV shows such as The Swan serve to support the empty value system propagated by the cosmetic surgery industry and will continue to do so as long as society continues to worship and advocate emulation of celebrities based on their looks alone. Did we really establish a free world so that beauty at any cost could be our sole goal?

The pro-cosmetic surgery view – written by Anna Taylor
Yes, it can be taken to extremes (are you listening Jackie Stallone?), and yes, it involves going under the knife, but speaking as a well-informed adult who is capable of making her own decisions, I believe strongly that cosmetic surgery as an option for enhancement should be available to all.

But looking good isn’t immoral and making the most of yourself isn’t shallow. The body is a canvas – many of us pierce our ears, wear make-up and embark on diet and fitness programmes to change how we look and give off a different image. Cosmetic surgery is one other route towards this.

The issue here is that as long as people realise that it’s merely their body they will be changing (and not necessarily their life), then cosmetic surgery is a blessing. A nose job might not lead to a fabulous relationship, but it may be able to remove the self-consciousness that had blighted confidence. Bigger boobs may not lead to business success, but it may affect the way you carry yourself. We all believe in control of our lives and self-expression, and it seems that a lot of women agree. The British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons recorded 16,367 cosmetic procedures in 2004 – up from a total of 10,738 in 2003.

What we need to do is to make sure that every person who is considering the option knows the risks. The industry needs to be regulated, with experienced, qualified surgeons, the best medical advice, aftercare and consultations. Surely this can only happen if we stop demonising the process and focus on it as a valid concern that can be available to those who want them.

Let’s not terrorise those who want a beauty upgrade.

http://www.handbag.com/health/stay-healthy/cosmetic-surgery-have-your-say-49812

by: Lusi Donsi

Improving your self-confidence could be a tricky thing.

However, there are a number of simple methods you can follow to increase your self confidence and listed below are several of them:

Don’t Put Somebody Else Down

Sometimes when we suffer from low self-confidence, we feel like the only real way to increase our self-worth is to put another person down. That is simply not true. You’ll never be able to make yourself feel better by consistently putting another person down. Interact with other folks the way you want other folks to interact with you, and you will instantly feel much more confident.

Don’t Forget To Smile

Smiling can add a pleasant look and give a lovely glow to the face so smile as frequently as possible. It’s particularly vital to greet your companion with a smile and don’t forget to keep eye contact with him or her. Also try to have a small smile hanging on the corners of the mouth during date.

Stop Watching Negative News

Keeping up with the recent events is one thing, however watching everything in the news is a bit overkill. The main reason behind this is that you are trying to create a positive atmosphere by way of laughter and positive thoughts. By watching the news and all the negativity it projects you’re counter balancing your efforts. The news broadcast is mostly negative and whether you really watch it or not if its on the background then your subconscious mind is picking up this information and it can be reducing your self-confidence without you even realizing it.

Don’t Try So Hard

Increasing your self-confidence should not be about struggling. Stop attempting to be a perfectionist and promise to yourself to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes from time to time. Rest A little bit – you deserve it.

Accept Compliments

When people give you some complements, don’t forget to say thanks. Don’t shrug them off or roll your eyes simply because you do not want to imagine it. Who knows, that human being just gives complements once in a blue moon and he’s saving the best complements only for people whom he or she thinks is worth the positive remark.

Be With Positive People

Usually persons are low on confidence because the people around them are putting them down and hurt their self-confidence. You tend to be just like the individuals who you spend the most time with. Find yourself some other associates who’re confident and try to be with them. They’ll pick you up and you will feel much more confident in yourself.

These tips can help you to increase your self esteem and you can start implement them right now.

However if you really want to learn how to boost your self esteem in the quickest way I’ll highly recommend following a proven system that will teach you step-by-step how you can improve your self confidence level in the best way.

I hope that these tips and techniques will be useful for you, all the best!

http://www.articlecity.com/articles/self_improvement_and_motivation/article_9201.shtml

Few people know that ovarian cancer is the fifth most common cancer in women in the UK. In support of ovarian cancer awareness month, we’ve brought you all the facts and risks on this dangerous ‘silent killer’.

What is it?

Cancer of the ovary affects approximately 5,500 women in England each year and is often referred to as the ‘silent killer’ because the symptoms can be very hard to detect. There are three types of ovarian cancer, these include;

epithelial ovarian cancer, which affects the surface layers of the ovary,

germ cell ovarian cancer, which originates in the cells that make the eggs, and

stromal ovarian cancer, which develops within the cells that hold the ovaries together.

The most common type of ovarian cancer is epithelial ovarian cancer. Cancer of the ovary can also spread to other parts of the reproductive system and surrounding areas such as the womb, vagina and abdomen.

What are the symptoms?

The symptoms of ovarian cancer can be very difficult to recognise, especially in the early stages. In fact, the symptoms can be so vague that it used to be believed that ovarian cancer had no symptoms at all. Today, doctors are far more aware of the danger signs but it is the women suffering from ovarian cancer who need to be able to spot the symptoms and seek medical help before the cancer develops. Early symptoms can include pain in the pelvis, lower stomach or side, a full, bloated feeling and the need to pass urine more frequently. Later symptoms can include swelling in the stomach, pain during sex, constipation and irregular periods. Advanced symptoms can include nausea, breathlessness, weight loss, loss of appetite and tiredness.

Who’s at risk?

The risk of ovarian cancer increases with age with women over the age of 65 most at risk.

Claire, 28 was just 21 when she found out that she had ovarian cancer; “I looked like I was six months pregnant and went to see my GP who confirmed I wasn’t pregnant but it seemed like I had some sort of growth inside me and he thought it was an ovarian cyst. He referred me to a gynaecologist who did some further testing and he also thought I had a cyst – luckily I had private healthcare with work so I got into hospital very quickly and was seen within two weeks to have the lump removed.

“After the operation the surgeon told me that he had removed a 2kg tumour that was attached to my ovary along with the ovary itself but that my other ovary looked fine. I had further tests and they came back and confirmed that I had ovarian cancer. I couldn’t believe it I was in shock as I was only 21 with no cancer history in my family.

“The main thing is that I escaped chemo and I am just left with a big scar. I am now fit and well but have to keep going back for check-ups on my other ovary as I may have to have that removed as well but I really hope to start a family soon.”

Since her operation, Claire has had a baby and is still happy and healthy.

What causes it?

Cancer is caused by the cells dividing and multiplying too rapidly but it is not fully understood why this happens. If any of your close relatives have had cancer of any kind, you are more at risk from developing ovarian cancer and especially so if a close relative such as your mother or sister have had ovarian cancer. If this is the case you could be eligible to be screened for ovarian cancer. Being overweight or obese is also known to increase your risk of developing cancer by as much as a third, find our if you are overweight by checking your BMI with our BMI calculator. If you suffer from endometriosis, this can also increase your risk of developing ovarian cancer by up to a third.

Is it treatable?

Like other forms of cancer, treatment is carried out through a combination of surgery, chemotherapy and, in some cases, radiotherapy. If the cancer is caught at stage one, there is a 90% survival rate. However at the moment, most women are being diagnosed between stage two and three where there is only a 25% (stage three) or 65% (stage two) chance of survival.

Nearly all cases of ovarian cancer require surgery in order to remove as much of the cancer as possible. After surgery, the patient will undergo chemotherapy which uses medicines that stop the growth of any cancer cells that could not be removed using surgery. If there are still small traces of cancer left in your reproductive system after chemotherapy or, if you have an advanced form of ovarian cancer then radiotherapy will be used to target the remaining cancer cells.

How can I prevent it?

We are constantly hearing about the different things which can cause or help prevent cancer but, because so little is known about the cause of ovarian cancer it is not known if there is anything that can prevent it altogether. Factors which may make the chances of developing ovarian cancer less likely include being on the contraceptive pill and eating a diet that is low in fat and high in fruit and vegetables.

http://www.handbag.com/health/stay-healthy/you-should-know-aboutovarian-cancer-110542

By Jules Filsell, relationship advice expert at eHarmony.

Met the man of your dreams and dreaming of the big day? Here are 12 signs you’re ready to move things onto the next level.

Sign 1: The ordinary is extraordinary
You find food shopping, doing the washing up or tidying the living room with your partner exciting and fun. Exotic holidays, or doing up a new home together are obviously great, but you know they’re not the bread and butter of everyday life and you’re absolutely fine with that.

Sign 2: You’re ready for ‘forever’
The phrase ‘til death do us part’ doesn’t scare you. It’s not just that you’re resigned to being with the same person for the rest of your life; you relish the idea of getting old and wrinkly together.

Sign 3: You bring out the best in each other
You make each other the best possible people you can be, whether you’re together or apart. Corny, but incredibly important.

Sign 4: You can compromise
You want Thai takeaway, he wants Chinese. He’s had a tough day at work, so you back down and call your local Chinese restaurant. Compromise doesn’t always mean meeting half way – sometimes it can mean simply letting your partner have their way because you know it means more to them. It’s about thinking as a ‘we’ rather than a ‘me’.

Sign 5: Honesty is the only option
When something goes wrong your partner is the first person you tell and he might also be the only person you tell. You know you won’t be judged (and you can get his favourite t-shirt wet with your tears). If you’re sharing your life with someone you need to be able to let them know what’s getting to you.

Sign 6: You cheer each other on
You know he’s going to be one of the first people to say good luck before a job interview, or well done when you complete a half-marathon. And vice versa.

Sign 7: You argue well
There’s nothing wrong with arguments – in fact, they can be very healthy. As long as you argue with purpose and resolution, whilst respecting each others’ opinion, that’s what matters.

Sign 8: It’s not just you who’s happy for you
Your family thinks he’s wonderful and your friends think he’s a great laugh, taking you aside to say things like ‘He’s perfect for you, I’m so pleased!’. If the people who matter to you most love the guy in your life, you know you’re on track.

Sign 9: You have similar values
You both want the same things from life. Maybe that’s to have three children and move to a quaint suburb, or perhaps it’s to travel around India selling hand-woven quilts. It doesn’t matter as long as your values and dreams match up.

Sign 10: You’re thinking about the future
Perhaps you’ve both started saving for a place together – whatever it is, if you’re thinking about next year rather than next week, you’re probably ready for engagement.

Sign 11: It’s not about the Big Day
You’d be happy to elope if you had to, rather than spending months obsessing over wedding favours and menu choices. The wedding is just one day, but marriage is for the rest of your lives.

Sign 12: You’re happy
Perhaps you’re thinking ‘well, duh’, but plenty of women think a trip down the aisle will sort out their relationship problems. The fact is, in the first year of marriage, you’ll probably encounter new challenges you’ve not dealt with before. Being happy at the start of that journey is the only way to be.

http://www.handbag.com/relationship/advice/signs-ready-to-be-engaged